


The New Normal

by SongsofPsyche



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Benji is a good friend, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongsofPsyche/pseuds/SongsofPsyche
Summary: Benji woke to screaming, and jumped off the couch, following the screams up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Ethan was dreaming again—no, not dreaming---having a nightmare.
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	The New Normal

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of non-con and torture. Please read with care.

Benji woke to screaming, and jumped off the couch, following the screams up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Ethan was dreaming again—no, not dreaming---having a nightmare. He thrashed against the sheets, trying to get out of their smothering grip. Benji saw the glint of a knife and took a step backward. He would have to wait here in the hallway until Ethan calmed down or else he was going to get stabbed in the chest.

Ethan Hunt had never been the same since that night, the night the mission went wrong and they weren’t able to pull him out in time. He tried not to show it, how much it affected him, but Benji wasn’t the kind of person that ignored small details. Of course, Ethan Hunt had never been the same since he made the decision to put his wife in hiding, thus ending their relationship. It must have killed him, saying goodbye to the woman he loved the most in the world. This solemn fact kept Benji from acting upon his own feelings towards Ethan and he knew if he ever said anything it would just end in heartbreak. There were times where Benji was so worried about Ethan, he would spend the whole night just to make sure Ethan didn’t do anything stupid.

Times like tonight where Benji had feigned drunkenness so he could crash on the crouch. Ethan hadn’t spoken a word all day and had ignored the buzzing and ringing of his phone. When Benji had come over earlier with a box of pizza in the hope of getting him to eat something he had arrived to a pale Ethan sitting by the windowsill staring out into nothingness and Benji knew then that Ethan was struggling so he made a point to stay.

Ethan was still screaming, caught up in the nightmares that plagued him almost every night. Benji waited until he was sure he saw that the knife had dropped to the floor, and then stepped inside the room. Ethan was still struggling wildly against the sheets that wrapped around him.

“Ethan, Ethan it’s okay. You’re safe.” Benji said calmly, grabbing the sheet with one hand and pulling it off of Ethan’s head. Ethan stared at him with unseeing eyes, whatever he was seeing, whatever he was wrapped up in wasn’t here in the bedroom. Benji took a step closer and waited, when Ethan didn’t flinch away, he took another step and then sat down on the bed.

“You’re okay. You’re safe.” He said

There were times where Ethan never spoke a word to anybody, he just sat there on the couch lost in his own thoughts. That night though, that night was different—a different kind of different. That night made it so much worse than it was before, and Benji still had no idea what they did to him. Well---he had some idea---he was stupid, but he still knew that it was bad. Benji could still remember the room they found him in, stale with the smell of blood and sweat. There was a bed, the white sheets stained red, and a remarkable amount of what Benji could only assume were torture devices spread across the floor. They had found Ethan on the floor, wearing a baggy black sweatshirt and grey scrub pants—clothes he had not been wearing when he had started the mission. His hands and feet were tied with cruel sharp wire, and he was gagged with a bloody rag. His eyes had been closed, but when they approached him they opened and he had struggled against the wires, effectively cutting up his wrists and ankles. Benji remember the next part very clearly, he saw it in his own dreams almost every night, Benji remember reaching for Ethan, to untie his hands, and Ethan and jerked—no—flinched away from him so hard he hit the concrete wall with his head and had knocked himself out. That Ethan Hunt had allowed himself to remain bound was a mystery in itself, because Ethan could do anything if he put his mind to it and it was nearly impossible to catch him let alone hold him still long enough to tie him up. That was the first sign that something was wrong. The second sign that something was wrong was that Ethan fought the medics tooth and claw. They had to sedate him to bring him into the med unit and administer the IV. That’s when the doctors found evidence of a brutal attack, of rape. At first, Benji couldn’t believe it, and then thinking of Ethan’s assailants—members of the most brutal mafia gang in New York—and all of a sudden felt lucky that Ethan was alive. Ethan was sedated for three hours, and he didn’t come to until almost midnight that night. And when he did he had asked why they had brought him there, why they didn’t just let him die and Benji couldn’t seem to meet those shattered blue eyes as he watched Ethan descent into the hellish awakening he was in.

Slowly, the panic subsided and Ethan blinked a few times, still breathing hard.

“You are safe here. No one is going to hurt you.” Benji said quietly

Ethan shuddered, wrapping his arms around his chest. Benji could feel him shaking from where he was sitting.

“Benji?” Ethan asked, and Benji looked up at him, surprised to hear Ethan’s voice.

“Yes. Yes, I’m here.” He said.

Ethan looked at him, and his face crumpled.

“They came at me, with their knives and their _toys._ They said I was too _pretty_ , and…..and….they hurt me. I couldn’t escape them.” He said in a dry whisper and finally, _finally,_ Ethan reached for him. Benji wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Ethan buried his face in his chest and Benji felt the wetness of tears against his skin.

“They are long gone now,” Benji said, his heartbreaking for the man he loved. He sat still and allowed Ethan to cry himself into an uneasy sleep.

Benji sighed softly, it was just another night of the new normal for him.


End file.
